How to find peace
[From Dialogue on Awakening]
Would you please help me understand why I don’t seem to be aware of Spirit within me? Why do I keep it outside my awareness?
Your current self awareness is based upon the presumption that you are separate from the Spirit that created you like and as a part of Itself, and while you reject this truth, you withhold It from your experience. To accept the Spirit of God as part of yourself, you must accept it as the essence of everything you see. Let me reassure you, however, that denying the Presence of God within you does not, in any way, alter what has always been and always will be. You are inseparable from your Source.
Is it that what I’m seeing is coming back and…
Let me make it a little easier for you. There are two things that you are struggling with right now: The first and foremost is lack of clarity. The second is believing that there is something going on in your life that is beyond your control.
Let’s talk about the clarity. There is confusion in your mind as to exactly what it is that you can do to rectify what appears to be a resolution of your spiritual growth and your day to day activities as you see those activities pulling you away from your calm and peaceful center.
So, let’s talk about a very basic issue. You have heard many times and expressed in many different ways that you make your own reality. I have said that you will experience what you choose to see. Boiling this down, what it simply means is that whatever is in your mind you will think that you are experiencing. I say you will “think” you are experiencing because in the world of dreams it is precisely that—a dream. But it comes to you as real and, therefore, we will refer to it in terms of being real within the dream.
What is in your mind you will see as being manifest in the physical world, in the dream. And when there is lack of clarity in your mind, there is obviously nothing for there to be outside your mind except an equal lack of clarity. It is the limited sense of your mind that you are now employing which allows you only to see that which you are dreaming about. What else could there be for you to dream about except what you make up in your mind? Therefore, whatever is in your mind is what you will dream about.
You will find it very helpful if you recognize with total clarity the absolute Truth that I’m giving to you at this moment. Because it is this Truth that will allow you to see vividly, on a moment to moment basis, exactly whether or not your mind is clear or unclear as you go through your daily activities. When you see them being chaotic, you will immediately know that this condition is reflective of your mind.
What you are wondering is how do you change all this. If it is in your mind, how else could you possibly change it except by changing your mind? What we are dealing with then is the creation of new thought patterns. It is difficult for you to recognize the chaotic thought patterns that currently exist in your mind because they have been there for such a long time. And you have become comfortable with the feeling of them—they have become familiar to you. Therefore, you identify yourself as being that way; that this is your natural or normal state of mind. So when I suggest to you it is as simple as changing your mind, it appears to be a very complex matter. And indeed, it will remain complex as long as you are of the opinion that what you are experiencing in the form of chaos is what you would refer to as “normal”.
What you are really trying to achieve is a sense of peace. What I would suggest is this: as you are going through any process, recognize that you are going through it to attain a state of peace. Be aware that each thing you do, no matter what it may be, you are doing it to achieve peace. Recognize this as you approach the most mundane of tasks. With each thing you do, consciously repeat in your mind, “I do this to attain peace. I do this because it brings me peace.” Become comfortable with that thought. Allow that thought to be with you consciously, in the beginning particularly when you are in easy moments of peace, when you do not seem to be disturbed by outside influences which would make peace difficult to experience.
Choose peace while you are brushing your teeth, choose peace when you view a beautiful flower. Choose peace when you feel someone chewing on your rear end.
Obviously, what we are doing here is establishing that pattern in your mind so that as you find yourself in the circumstances and situations that create the chaos that currently exists there, you will say, “I do this to bring me peace.” And you will consciously have the opportunity to choose again. And please, don’t be misled; don’t allow the old patterns to take control. Don’t feel that you are forced in any way to continue doing something that does not respond to your request for peace by saying, “I have to do this, I don’t have another choice, I must do this.” You must do nothing that does not bring you peace.
Now, there very well may be occasions when you are unwilling to respond by changing what you are doing, or changing your attitude about what you are doing in such a way that you recognize peace as a result. What I will suggest to you now is that you do not judge yourself as being guilty or negligent in any way for continuing with the activity that you are consciously aware is not bringing you peace. This would destroy the entire process, because very soon you would recognize that you didn’t want to feel guilty any more about not choosing peace. Therefore, you would abandon the process and no longer continue to repeat the phrase, “I do this for peace.” I suggest that on those occasions you alter the phrase and say, “I know I’m doing this and I know it’s not going to bring me peace, and for whatever reason, I’m going to do it anyway, and it’s okay.” And then watch how the results will change because, as you give yourself permission to continue the activity that will not bring you peace and you do so in a frame of mind that is non-judgmental, you’ll find the peace was there after all.
You seem to be punishing yourself for wanting so desperately to be Awake and not feeling yourself capable of achieving it. Allow me to tell you, there is nothing that can prevent you from remembering who you Are. The only thing that would appear to delay the process is the one that you are engaged in now, which is that of appearing to punish yourself for not now being aware of it. You do that because you have not chosen wholly to give it up. You have not chosen completely to step beyond this comfort zone that you are currently dreaming about and return to your natural, normal state of memory. That’s what this process seems to be about.
Remember that this experience that seems to be so real, that seems to hold so much excitement, that seems to keep you so alive, is a mere shadow of your true experience of your Self. It is why you appear to creep up on this business called “Awakening.” It seems to allow you to push back or expand the comfort zone little by little by little so that what you are stepping into has a ring of familiarity. And that, too, is okay. The thing you do that appears to make it more painful is to judge yourself as being guilty for not being capable of taking the leap. What I am trying to make clear is this: the feeling that is creating that confusion in your mind is one that is there because you know at the deepest level of your Being who you Are. And that truth seeps through, just a little, into your conscious awareness of this dream. So, as you appear to creep up on Reality, there is still that little Voice of your true Self saying, “You don’t need to do this.”
In everything you do, choose peace. In everything you do that you recognize does not bring you peace and you want to do it anyway, feel okay about it.
[ch 2, pg 47]