Be Gentle with Yourself
[From Dialogue on Awakening]
When I am in that ego state of seeing my brother’s mistakes, and I’m not willing to make that shift to seeing his perfection, what is the most helpful thing I can do at this point?
To be absolutely aware that the unwillingness is not changing you. Because of your past patterns of understanding, you would believe that as you do not allow yourself to be perfect, there must be some type of retribution, you must in some way suffer to pay for your sins. You are now coming to an understanding that tells you that this is not true. Stay with this feeling.
It is impossible for you to change your true Self. It is only possible for you to either recognize that Self or continue to recognize a limited perception of that Self which we have described as being the ego. The entire process becomes one of satisfying the ego by attempting to live up to its demands that you be as “spiritual” now as you feel you should be. Know that as you seek yourself spiritually, your ego will appear to aid you in that quest.
There is something here that would be helpful for you to be aware of and that is not to be judgmental about your ego. Do not put your attention in any way on what you may consider to be negative influence or negative impact upon you by your ego. For as you allow that attention to rest upon your ego, you will strengthen it. You will come to think of it as being an evil aspect of yourself, but it is not. Your ego is simply a misperception that you hold about yourself, and that does not make it evil.
The kindliest, most helpful thing that you may participate in as you find yourself in the position that you have described is simply this: acknowledge to yourself that this is, in fact, your perception at this moment and let it go. Do not resist it; do not condemn yourself for it. Feel grateful that you are in a position to step back momentarily and observe what is happening. Acknowledge the presence of your ego, and acknowledge the Presence of your Being as well. It will be the acknowledgment that you make of the Presence of your Being that will allow you to refocus and reestablish the feeling of peace.
Being judgmental about yourself when you feel that you are in a state of mind that is less than what you want to be can only encourage that state of mind to have a value to you. Therefore, it will be with you to a far greater degree than what you would anticipate. It will continue to grow as you continue to give attention to it, as you continue to be judgmental of it.
You are learning that Love has no opposite. Therefore, what would it mean to you if you could simply be in a state of love about whatever it is that happens to be in your mind at the moment, including being judgmental about yourself and seeing yourself as being totally immersed within your ego? Could you still be in a state of love with yourself? If there is no opposite to Love, what would be of greater benefit to help you dissolve anything that apparently was in conflict with love? To love your ego would not sound like a logical approach, would it—to love yourself when you felt yourself being hateful? But that is precisely what I am suggesting.
I am suggesting that to begin to change those patterns of being judgmental, you not concentrate on making any change at all, but rather allow yourself to be aware that you truly exist in a state of Love. Allow that state to become more clear to you, and as you do, you will begin to build a pattern of becoming loving in all circumstances and situations. The other patterns will begin to drop away. You will do nothing to attempt to change the other patterns. You will simply replace in your thinking the thoughts that were less loving with thoughts that are more loving.
I could not at any time suggest to you that the most expedient way of becoming less judgmental would be to exercise the opposite to that pattern because I would be advising you to put more of your attention into the process of judging. As you would put more attention into that, you would find it increasingly difficult to let go of it. It is impossible to practice being non-judgmental.
Being in a state of peace will bring you joy. Being in a state of joy will allow you to see your own loving nature. By the same premise, I cannot tell you to practice being peaceful. What I can suggest to you is to let go of thoughts that are not peaceful. That’s all, just let go. You let go of them by not judging them. You let go of them by not resisting them. You let go of them by firmly understanding they have no value to you. They do not change you. Peace comes of its own accord when you have made this choice for it.
Will the process of letting go be quickened if we ask the Holy Spirit to help us in letting go of the old thought patterns?
The answer most emphatically is, yes! I would, however, like to suggest to you that you not concern yourself with how quickly something may or may not happen. That will encourage you to inappropriately focus your attention on having an expectation as to how the process is going to work and if it is working effectively within the parameters that you have set for it. Instead, trust. Trust that it is working perfectly and in whatever time it takes, trust that this is part of the perfection that is happening at the moment. The principle again is this: when you allow your attention to inappropriately focus on this thing that we will now call “time,” then you have identified the importance that time holds for you. You have presumed that there will never be enough of it because if this does not happen quickly enough, then you must move onto something else because you certainly only have a limited amount of time.
You see, this whole process becomes one of changing your mind about limitation. And I will tell you that your making of time is the greatest limitation you have created. As you see yourself being a prisoner of this world, you will forever be a prisoner here. As you allow the Holy Spirit to work with you, to release you from all of the bonds, you must trust it will happen in whatever way that will best serve you. It will not be in your conscious awareness or determination of what that best way is. It will be by trust. I will tell you now, there is no place for you to go anyway, so what’s the rush?
As you have heard in the past, it is most helpful for you to keep your attention focused only in the moment. This has become a concept, but has not been understood. Keeping your attention focused in the moment will shift your awareness to an understanding that it is only this moment that truly exists. This cannot be understood when you try to make it applicable within the framework of your world as you know it now, because you will readily understand that this is not the way your world works. So part of the trust is giving up the notion of the way you see your world working and relying upon the Holy Spirit to show you a different Vision.
You will not find a justification for what I suggest as you look around you. You will only find it inside you, in that place of Knowing that needs no validation from the outside world. But you cannot find that moment when you seek it, believing that you only have a limited amount of time to spend seeking it. Don’t you see?
That is always the dichotomy that appears to present itself in this process of waking up. It is the parameters that our ego will allow us to employ which apparently limit our spiritual visibility.
You have chosen to experience your Self, and as long as you allow your attention to confirm this, then you must understand that whatever is happening to you, for you and around you, is happening to bring this about, and it is happening in a state of absolute perfection. When this is forgotten, this whole business of spiritually Awakening becomes a very arduous task and is not much fun. Where is the joy? Where has the joy gone when you must condemn yourself for not Awakening?
I will tell you again, you are already Awake. You have, in truth, never stopped being Awake; you have never stopped being less than the perfection in which you were created. It is only your refusal to accept this idea that keeps you from the experience of it. Attempting to change yourself instead of accepting yourself gives your ego another path to pursue and will only perpetuate that entire process. It will also perpetuate unhappiness and disappointment.
Allow yourself to be in a state of joy and know that when you are in that state, you are in a state of God. The rest will happen. When you are in a state of joy, then disappointment falls away. You did nothing to make it go away. But there will always be this voice that says, “There is no logical reason for me to be joyful when I have debts, when I have things around me that are keeping me from being joyful. When my husband doesn’t understand me, when my mother-in-law thinks I am less than the perfect wife, when my friends judge me wrongly, when I cannot pay the electric bill, how can I be joyful?” And it is obviously less than logical when I say to you that being in a state of joy is the only thing that will change those things that you see around you. It is not those things going away that will allow you to be in a state of joy. It is your making the choice for joy and for peace that will create your thinking patterns that will reflect joy and peace.
When your mind is in a state of perfect and perpetual peace, it will be quite impossible for you to have any experience that is not reflective of perpetual peace and joy and love. Changing the inner script will change the outer play.
[ch 2, pg 59]
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